"I see you are currently working for the Quadra Health Centre in Norwich. Why do you want move here to the city?"

"Well, I have lived in Norfolk for most of my life and I feel that now is the time expand my horizons, to move on."

"I see. Are there any problems at work where you are now?"

"Not at all. I get on very well with the people there and they seem happy with the work I do for them. As I said, I just feel it is time for a change of surroundings."

"And a change in direction, vocationally speaking."

"Yes, I have been working as a fully qualified physiotherapist for six years now, ever since I graduated from college. I do enjoy it but I must confess that this position is in an area I’ve always wanted to get into."

"I suppose coming from a physiotherapy background would set you up nicely for entering this particular field. "

"Well yes, I am trained in all manner of relaxation and massage techniques."

"Indeed; and it has to be said that there is no direct route into this kind of career, no formal training or qualifications. Tell me, do you have any specific experience in this area, professionally?"

"I did do some part time work to help me pay my way through college."

"And how did you feel about it then?"

"I had no problem with it. Obviously it was not quite the same as working in an environment such as this. I think working under more formal conditions would be much more enjoyable."

"Well, we do hope so. Okay, let me tell you a little about the job and why we created this position:

"We are a global company with a annual turnover of about £2 billion a year. In order to maintain our position in the global market our employees must be dedicated and hard working. Now, this means that many of our people work long hours and perhaps don’t have as much time as they would like for social activities. As you can imagine, this can make it hard for them to form relationships outside of the work environment. This doesn’t seem to be of great concern to the career orientated individuals that we like to hire; indeed, I have had many a conversation amongst my staff where they have stated that marriage and long term romantic involvement is simply not that important to them, so geared they are towards professional success.

"However, this can be a stressful environment to work in, and tiring. We have a high rate of employees suffering from stress induced conditions, nervous exhaustion, depression… and because many of them do not have a secure social framework to fall back on, it can be difficult for them to find an outlet to facilitate their emotional well being. We do have a team of company therapists who do a wonderful job in helping our staff focus on the job and re-motivate themselves.

"Sometimes, though, counselling just isn’t enough: people require more intimate human contact. Of course, there are places they could go: nightclubs, escort agencies, and certain districts of the city… The problem with that is the uncertainty of… let’s say the quality not to mention the obvious health issues. You simply don’t know what you might get. So, the management believes that rather than have our staff endanger their health and their emotional state by indulging in unsafe activities, it would be better to provide them with a safe and secure outlet for their needs."

"Very sensible."

"Over the last twelve months we have installed four Recreational Facilitators into the infrastructure with great success. Staff morale has been raised invaluably and there has been a noticeable upturn in productivity. With the demand increasing we are looking to expand this service."

"I see. So what level of service do the Recreational Facilitators provide?"

"It varies from employee to employee as to what level of intimacy they want so it could range from nothing more than a hug through to massage, foreplay, oral sex and all the way to full penetration."

"Would that include anal penetration?"

"Yes, both the administering and receiving thereof."

"Fine. What about, say, fantasy role-playing?"

"Certainly. The company provides a collection of uniforms and costumes. If members of staff have any special requests they are permitted submit a formal request."

"What about bondage?"

"No. Engaging in any form of sado-masochism would negate our insurance policy. We do provide certain garments of leather bondage apparel but no actual activity of that nature is allowed. All members of staff have handbooks outlining what is and is not permissible."

"Okay. What about the health issues?"

"Our Recreational Facilitators are given regular health checks for contagious and venereal conditions and any members of staff wishing to take advantage of these facilities also need to take a health check."

"And what about sexual harassment issues?"

"For the safety of both employees and Facilitators all sessions are filmed… using discreetly placed cameras so as not to… kill the mood."

"Well, you seem to have thought of everything."

"We have done everything we can to provide a safe and pleasurable environment for recreational activities."

"Yes, your guidelines are very thorough. How often do employees make use of this service?"

"The staff are all allocated a number of paid recreational hours, much like holiday leave. The standard rate is twenty-four hours per annum. How they allocate that time is up to them. Some like to just have a fifteen-minute quickie whereas others prefer to save up their time allocation and take a full hour."

"Hmm. Right."

"I think that just about covers it. Erm… Oh yes: We do insist that in the eventually of any emotional attachment formed between employee and Recreational Facilitator be conducted strictly outside of office hours."

"That seems fair."

"And I, er… notice that on the application form that you specify your sexuality as ‘bi-sexual’. Would you be able to accommodate both male and female members of staff?"

"Absolutely; not a problem."

"Excellent. Right, well, I’ll explain what will happen now: I will draw up a shortlist of candidates. I will then accept input from the staff as they will be the ones making use of the service. I will probably be making my decision by the end of the week, so I will let you know by Monday whether your application has been successful."

"That would be great. Thank you."

"Well, thank you for your interest in this position, Peter. I will be in touch to let you know the outcome."

"Thank you very much. Goodbye."

- Originally published in Flush Fiction Magazine - November 2001