Hey, everything's fine

I will never have a career. I'll probably go from one admin monkey role to another and never get on the career ladder. I'll probably never make a lot of money. I'll probably have to work until I drop dead because I won't have been able to put enough aside for a decent pension. I'll probably never own my own home.

I'll probably never get married, never have a family. I may never have a serious relationship with a woman ever again.

And you know what? I don't care. But I don't mean "I don't care" in a bleak, nihilistic and pessimistic way. I mean it in a "ah well, something will turn up" kind of way.

Today I finished a week-long temp assignment that was really basic office work: filing, photocopying, typing up letters, stuffing envelopes. At the start of the week I thought it horrifically boring but as the days passed I grew to appreciate the mindlessness of it all and the complete absence of any real responsibility. I haven't got any work lined up for next week. I should be bricking myself but I'm not. A friend is going to hand over a bit of cash for me to redesign their website so I can do that and have time left over to concentrate on the job-hunting. Something will turn up for the following week.

It's strange but the uncertainty of not knowing where the next buck is coming from or that I am still not settled in a permanent job or that I am terminally single doesn't bother me in the slightest. I am inexplicably contented.

Plan for next week, then: redesign friend's website; bang out lots of job applications; finally do some bloody revising of my 2006 NaNoWriMo novel (yeah, remember that?); go back over all the music I've written in the last eighteen months and start thinking about revising and rerecording the best ones for a proper demo.

I can't explain this sudden sense of well-being; it is most peculiar but also most welcome so I'm not going to analyse it too deeply. Hey, everything's fine - what else do I need to know?