Dearly Departed

“The worst of the Eight Hells is called Continuous Hell. It has the meaning of Continuous Suffering. Thus the name.”
- Nirvana Sutra – Verse 19

I love Martin Scorcese - Mean Streets, Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, The King Of Comedy, Goodfellas: wonderful films - but I was saddened when I first heard the news that he would be remaking the 2002 Hong Kong thriller Infernal Affairs as The Departed. Why? Why does a great director like Scorcese have to jump on the contemporary Asian movie remake bandwagon? His remake of Cape Fear was good but no improvement over the original - an enjoyable but redundant experience.

Now, I have to admit that I have a possibly irrational bee in my bonnet about Hollywood plundering East Asia's recent back catalogue. I love the atmosphere and pace of the Asian versions of Ringu, The Grudge, Dark Water and The Eye and, being an intelligent human being who can walk and chew gum at the same time, I have no problem with subtitles. But no, lazy Western audiences don't go to the cinema to read. If they wanted to read they'd buy a book. So, in order to make these modern foreign classics accessible to Western cinema-goers, and to save themselves the effort of coming up with interesting ideas themselves, the Hollywood studios are only too happy to remake them.

So what? OK, the thing is that the Hollywood producers wax lyrical about the emerging talent in the East and about how Asian filmmakers are making the best films in the world right now and how they want to share these modern classics with Western audiences. And then they purchase not only the rights to remake the films but also distribution rights... but they don't distribute them. They sit on the Asian originals and fire out their own remakes to cinemas.

I will concede that, from what I've read, the US remakes have not been all bad (except Dark Water and, from what I gather, it was a pretty dismal experience for the very talented director Walter Salles) but, being the stubborn bastard that I am, I ain't gonna' see them. I've no need to. I've got the originals to enjoy.

It saddens me, therefore, that Scorcese is tossing his hat into the Asian remake ring (no pun intended). Infernal Affairs, in case you don't know, is the story of an undercover cop who has infiltrated a Triad gang in a game of cat-and-mouse with a mole who has risen through ranks of the police force. Directed by Wai Keung Lau and Siu Fai Mak, it is as much a rumination on identity and the idea of "Continuous Hell" as it is an action thriller. As well as the beautiful photography, direction and editing, it features some superb performances from Andy Lau as the mole in the police force, Tony Leung as the undercover cop, Eric Sang as the Triad boss and Anthony Wong as Leung's commanding officer.

This leads me onto another bone of contention: the casting of Scorcese's version. In place of Andy Lau and Tony Leung we will get Matt Damon and Leonardo di Caprio respectively. Matt and Leo are both good actors but when compared to the likes of Lau and Lueng (the latter being possibly my favourite living actor) then neither of them quite make the grade. One of the things that defines Lau's and Lueng's characters in the original is that they have been living the lie of their respective deceptions for so long that they no longer know what they are fighting for or whose side they are really on. They are getting older and world-weary. But Matt and Leo are, frankly, still too young and fresh-faced for the roles. Give them another ten years and they would probably be right for the roles, but not yet. And as for Mark Wahlberg taking on Anthony Wong's role as the police chief... ugh, please. The mighty Jack Nicholson is playing Eric Sang's gang boss part; the only bit of casting I feel could work well.

I don't doubt for a second that The Departed will look fantastic and that the cast and crew have given the project their all but, sorry Marty, I just can't muster much enthusiasm when I have the superb original already on my DVD shelf.

Oh, and the Hollywood machine is also going to remake the South Korean extreme cinema classic Oldboy. Yeah, right, that won't be neutered at birth. I can't picture any of today's popular Hollywood pretty-boys eating a live octopus on screen, can you?