Presumptions

Telesales people are getting awfully presumptuous these days. Thursday evening the phone rings; it is some girl calling me from my building society offering me a special deal on a credit card. She tells me what's on offer to existing customers like me, explains that she will take me through the application form over the phone and then arrange for the card to be sent to me. At no point does she actually ask if I want one. As soon as she started talking I knew where the conversation was heading so I tried to interject several times and politely tell her that, no thanks, save your breath, I don't want a credit card. No fucking chance. Telesales girl was going to get to the end of her opening spiel no matter what. She would tolerate no interruptions and nothing on this Earth would prevent her from reaching the end of her opening pitch.

Except that it wasn't a pitch. They were going to give me a credit card. I would accept their credit card because the terms were so damn good. No discussion. No enquiry into my needs. They had decided that I needed their credit card and that I would take it.

Except, of course, I didn't. "Not interested," I said and hung up. What really pissed me off was not that they were assuming that I would simply acquiesce and accept the credit card but that Telesales Girl just carried on talking over me when I tried to save her from wasting her time. It was her turn to speak, not mine. Wait, motherfucker, I'm telling you what my company is offering and you will listen and you will take our product.

I sometimes feel sorry for telesales people because they work under extraordinary pressure, have huge quotas to fill given to them by ruthless, merciless, scumbag line managers; it must be an horrible job. But then I think, no, fuck that, nobody forces people to work in telesales. It is not the only work going. Even when I have been languishing in the most dire of straits I have managed to avoid getting a telesales job.

So, fuck Telesales Girl, fuck her presumption that I will be accepting her oh-so-generous terms and conditions, fuck her quotas and fuck her tyrannical arsehole of a line manager. No pushy little twat phones me up in my home, refuses to let me speak as they spout forth their sales pitch and expects me to take their product without even asking if I want it.