Just to clarify...

... so there is no confusion on the matter, I don't give a fuck about the new series of Big Brother nor do I care one jot about the Football World Cup. This does mean that I will watch hardly any television over the coming months except for Doctor Who - assuming that the football doesn't fuck too much with its scheduling on Saturday evening (seriously, if there are significant disruptions to the only TV show I go out of my way to watch as a result of the football then people will have to die).

This won't make that much difference to my viewing habits as I hardly watch television anyway. But it's the principle of the thing, you understand.

Also, I probably won't be able to go into any public house as there will no doubt be hoards of grunting drunken neanderthals gathered around big-screen televisions watching a game at all times, cheering, jeering, leering, thumping their chests etc.

Of course, by renouncing any interest in Big Brother and the Football World Cup, I effectively render myself a traitor to my contemporaries, my country and my gender. It is this willful rejection of the culture of the masses that means that I will forever be alone.